While I'm On A Roll.

I have never been a flag waver, but I'm also not a flag burner. I simply believe that all forms of worship, as well as terrorism, nationalism, patriotism, cronyism, fanaticism, and most other ism's are illnesses, constitutional weaknesses of character that breed hatred, violence, and likely will never be eradicated from the human psyche.

Take the ardent sports fan, please. I like the Yankees and enjoy the game whether they win or lose. The foul-mouthed idiots surrounding me in the stands are another story. I assume the fanatic sitting behind me is as difficult to be around for his family and co-workers as it is for me at the game. People don't display their character disorders selectively.

Take all the Evangelists, please. In olden times they furthered their cause with horses and swords, guns and knives, butchering all those who didn't share their beliefs. Today, they continue to slow progress of the human condition with less violent but equally ruinous tools. I don't mean to imply that an Evangelist is the only religious type who impedes human progress. Just a few months ago, a winning politician in India sacrificed two hundred sheep to thank his god for the victory. Is his god as hungry as his people? If only we could coexist like the lions and tigers and bears, but alas, we have the Sunnis and Shiites and Kurds, oh my!

The concept of Creationism has quietly crept into classrooms across the country. MY GOD! Everyone knows it takes 425,000 light years to travel from heaven to earth. What crazy dude would spend only a week here? Take all the creationists, please. Send them to Australia. They might get the concept.

Take all the rednecks, please. If Love It Or Leave It (redneck mantra) was actually the order of the day, all the progressive folks would probably move to Holland. The remaining homophobic hoards would likely tell them to go stick their thumbs in a dyke, and would convert all the libraries to beer halls.

While we're at it, take all the alcoholics, please. Imagine what a wonderful thing it would be if marijuana was cheap and legal rather than alcohol.  Make Love, Not War would be a way of life, not just a fucking slogan.
Instead of creating a major financial burden on our healthcare system, huge numbers of traffic fatalities, and over 40 million abused and neglected wives and children yearly, we would have cheap solar power, flowers growing everywhere, and rock and roll music blaring from speakers atop every geodesic dome. Pass the tofu.

Believing, as I do, that the foundation of morality is in showing compassion and concern for others, take or medicate all those suffering from egoism, please. Without anybody around who's overly concerned with self-interests, the world will be one happy rehabilitation center. My name is --fill in the blank-- I am a recovering egoist. What can I do for you?

Finally, I would like to announce that I'm not locked into this anti-ism philosophy, though admittedly, I have owned it for a long time. Being a freethinker, I'm living with it for now. Should someone manage to disprove any part of my doctrine, I'm prepared to embrace the new way of thinking and discard the old without regrets.