Cala held up the pipe. “One more toast before we move on,” she insisted. “To Zhiaban, our friend and benefactor. Mysterious and aloof, yet kind and generous. Unbelievable, yet real.”
“Zhiaban, Zhiaban, Zhiaban, Zhiaban,” everyone chanted, and the pipe was passed around.
“I miss Fez already,” Sani said, as they resumed their trek.
“Me, too," Zed replied, "but the trip would’ve been too much for him, and we couldn’t have left him in safer circumstances.”
“It was really hard for you to leave him, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. I struggled with it monumentally from the moment I decided to seek the Samoo. Zhiaban’s words convinced me that I must do it in order to be fully healed. Remember how you noticed my demeanor change after I walked into the shadow? But when we had Fez, unresolved issues resurfaced, and I’ve been over-parenting, Zhiaban called it. I try too hard.”
“Which is why I worry when you fantasize about universal peace.”
“So, you agree that I try too hard?”
Sani thought for a while. “Remember a long time ago when you asked me if I thought Zhiaban was manipulating our lives, and I said even if it was true I could live with her kind of influence. Well, I love the way you relate to Fez. You can be proud of the role model you present to him. You don’t smother him—you’re simply there for him all the time. I would’ve mentioned it to you if I thought you were overwhelming him. Though your parenting may spring from unresolved childhood trauma, you’re warm and tender and constant for Fez. He’s fine. The issues are yours alone. Perhaps Zhiaban is right. For you, this separation from Fez could be the final leg of your healing journey, like walking into the shadow was the beginning.”
“And you’re a constant for me, Sani.”
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